Hello. I have actually been writing during this hiatus. A lot. A few updates:
I will be graduating this Spring with my bachelors in Professional Writing. I have worked so hard to get this degree, and while I feel happy to be receiving it, it is definitely scary moving beyond college and into the "big girl" world.
I am currently writing my memoir. As silly as it sounds, it has been working out for me.
I wanted to write this journal as some advice for other young people in my position - those who want to write their true stories.
For a long time, I denied that I was writing in the genre of myself, in the genre of what has really happened to me. I wanted to write those things, but put it off on some fictional being. This was so that, if anyone really inquired, I could simply chalk up my writing to fiction and nothing more. I stopped holding onto this belief once I realized that I could only lie to myself and not to the reader. Until I finish my story, there isn't much else to say.
I want you to know what I have learned - writing these things are painful. I have felt it myself tonight. It hurts, it gnaws at you, it tears you limb from limb until you are nothing but scattered meat and running blood. It will hurt. And that's okay. Perhaps, and I think more than perhaps, writing in any genre is the same.
Don't be ashamed of who you are. Don't be ashamed of what brought you here. Whether you choose to accept it or not, it was something greater than you or I could ever be on our own. And it is okay to try to make sense of that in the scope of vocabulary, sentence structure, and all those things we worry about too much. We are okay.
I wrote this so I could remind myself, too. And not keep pulling at my own hair.